I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
