also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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