my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
