so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I love you. Go after that dick
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize