Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
