shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
