Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
