My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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