We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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