im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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