Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
