I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
