There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
