I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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