hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
