We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You need a sexual gate keeper
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
