just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
