Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
