Just cropdusted the office
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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