Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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