My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
