ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
