We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
