Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
