He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
In America we eat man semen.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
