K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Your penis caused this!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
