You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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