What did we do last night that was yellow?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize