You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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