I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
