This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
