i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i dont even know how to be here
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
