So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
