Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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