he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize