You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
