Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
