return my video game
actually, I'm a sock model
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
