Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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