so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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