think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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