im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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