I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The air taste purple.
Randomize
