lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She's just so happy...and so naked.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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