I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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