therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
