I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
