Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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