my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she smelled like a LAN party
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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