i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
