I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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