I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
