I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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