After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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