I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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