But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just had sex bonerless
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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