In the future we'll all be gay
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize