This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
