I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize