i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Can I color on your dick again?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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