I need to stop coming to work sober
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
