going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
