just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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