i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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