PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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