Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
