She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize