I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
