I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
