Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
