Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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