call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Randomize
