I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
