You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Can you bring me the toilet please
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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