You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
