with your own penis?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
