I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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